eloquent graffiti

McSorley's

2006-02-18T16:20:00.000-05:00

Blizzard '06

2006-02-14T23:54:00.000-05:00

Helping James into the bucket...

10 seconds later.

Cookie sizing up the aerobed.

James in the garbage suit.

#1 or #2

2006-02-07T11:29:00.000-05:00

which picture is "handsomer"?

#1)

#2)

Super Bowl pictures

2006-02-07T11:19:00.000-05:00

the end of blue steel

2006-02-07T09:10:00.000-05:00

If Dan was wearing a camera bowtie, this is the picture that would have been taken. Notice the weakness in Blue Steel.

3820 Holiday Party - part 2

2006-01-18T13:13:00.000-05:00

3820 Holiday Party - part 1

2006-01-10T16:42:00.000-05:00

foley's b-day

2005-09-25T20:32:00.000-05:00

This set is from Billy's birthday last week down at Reade Street. Billy's so popular there that there is a permanent shrine to him on the bathroom blackboard.

big trouble in little times square

2005-08-17T14:08:00.000-05:00

Bad news - Tom's car is severely messed up
Good news - He rented a Chrysler Sebring, the Holy Grail of convertibles

So what do 4 (Dan, Anthony, Tom of Larchmont*, and myself) guys do when you have a rented Chrysler Sebring? What don't they do is the appropriate question.
10:30 PM and a world of possibilities we decided that the last surviving Dairy Queen in Jersey was our destination. Dan copped out quick, but with Tom's persuading we got him ready to go. "We're young and it's a beautiful Tuesday night in August. When are we going to have a convertible again?"
3 minutes into the trip it started to seem like a bad (and by bad I mean great) idea when Shania Twain came blasting over the system while sitting at a red light. But, like 4 guys in a rented Sebring, we went with it.
Halfway to the GWB Dan stated "Why not go down into the city? F*@k Dairy Queen. Twist #1
Moving at a good speed, dodging Tom's cigarette sparks, and listening to some good (better than Shania Twain) music, we pulled off the West Side Highway at the exit for 56th Street.
That's when Dan came up with a better idea. "We should double park the Sebring in front of some bar in Times Square and do a shot." This, by the way, was one of the great outcomes of getting Dan to ride along.
Twist #2
It was then decided that it would be a better idea for Tom to stay with the car. Our first attempt was dicey considering we picked a bar that seemed reputable. But then we found our mark, some Irish bar in Times Square.
Tom pulls the car over but not before telling us "Do NOT run back to the car yelling 'Let's go let's go!'" as was done at the 1st attempt while jumping into the car (doors are not used in Sebrings). Tom repeated his warning once more to Anthony and we made our way inside.
Severe Twist #3
Walking into that bar was like 3 Messiah's walking into Jerusalem except back pats replaced palms. We were treated like kings to the point where we felt bad for running in for just 1 shot. I sheepishly suggested we stay for 2 but was met with a slap in the mouth and sharp "NO" from Dan. We previously decided to order all 3 shots seperately rather than together, just for immature kicks.
Dan: "Jack"
Anthony: "Jameson"
Ryan: "Jack"
The very friendly bartenders then decided they needed to finish the bottle of Jack and poured two very large shots. The bartender must have felt bad for Anthony because he also got a double shot. So, with no need for encouragement we downed them and asked how much...the bartender's reply "1 is on me, $11." Which made us feel absolutely horrible for turning around and leaving. A buy back on your first round, what kind of establishment does that?
So after eating some gyros and hotdogs outside of Dan's midtown office building we decided to jump back in that beauty of a machine and head back to Riverdale.
Good times. August Tuesday nights.

*all friends who share a 1st name will be distinguished by their current town

i do it all for my fans

2005-08-14T21:48:00.000-05:00

In response to all the encouragement I received from my last post I decided to find some of the most unflattering pictures of those involved and post them for everyone's enjoyment.

Tom - ah, this one will be timeless.

Tom & Easterbrook being a cute couple.

Aja being really f@#*ing cool by showing her freakishly long tongue.

Note to the reader: You will notice Aja absent from this blog for the next four weeks as her sentence has been extended (Dan September 10th FYI)

Speaking of Dan...

...crapping in a bar

I'm going to let everyone else comment on this disasterous waste of digital megapixels.

Dr. Noisewater - The Pied Piper of Stewart Manor...luring in the kiddies with that magical wink.

Reaching for that one last drink that will make tom a little manlier in easterbrooks glazed over eyes.

song of the day: "We Used to be Friends" - The Dandy Warhols

today I will update my blog

2005-08-07T14:32:00.000-05:00

my next purchase

2005-06-09T21:03:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I attended the Book Expo America at the Javitts Center for three days of meetings and pushing our new line of books. Well just in case someone asked me how it was (and I have yet to receive that request) I brought my camera with me. This is the only picture I took, and the only one worth showing at that.

No, you're not mistaken. That miniature horse IS wearing sneakers.

Letters to Mariah

2005-06-08T15:04:00.000-05:00

Sadly, my fan letter written to Mariah Carey just last year did not make this list found on The Smoking Gun. In short I basically gave my support of her recent breakdown, how she makes me think of rainbows when I hear "Dream Lover", and how my favorite thing to do when not listening to her music is take bubble baths while eating ice cream. But I digress. Here are some of my favorite Mariah fan letters.

Letter 1
Letter 2
Letter 3
Letter 4
The best for last: Letter 5

do not piss in the f%#*king well

2005-05-24T21:44:00.000-05:00

"So many bands use 'the'. It's all over...'The' Strokes, 'The' White Stripes, ' The' Rolling Stones. I'm not really sure about 'the'" - trying to convince The Shoes to streamline their name. We believe they bought it. Hook. Line. and Sinker

This past Saturday Jeannine, Tom and myself trecked out to Red Hook Brooklyn to catch one of Bobby's shows. It was a long time in the making and well worth it. Ladies and gentlemen...I give you, Shoes...

2005-05-24T21:38:00.001-05:00

2005-05-24T21:38:00.000-05:00

2005-05-24T21:36:00.000-05:00

Tom being a bitch

2005-05-24T21:35:00.000-05:00

Jeannine & myself

2005-05-24T21:33:00.000-05:00

Tom, Bobbo & myself

song of the day: "405" - Death Cab for Cutie

bronx etiquette

2005-05-23T22:48:00.000-05:00

I was sorting through some pictures earlier today and came across this one that I had overlooked before. It's a good thing Mr. Fold's looks like he's in a severe drug haze.

2005-05-23T22:46:00.000-05:00

Come back anytime Ben...you're more than welcome

Alex's Birthday

2005-05-23T22:41:00.000-05:00

This weekend marked Alex's 24th birthday on Bell Blvd. This night
also marked the return of my old roommate Hollywood...one of the
craziest people I know.

2005-05-21T18:24:00.000-05:00

"The index finger shows authority while the middle finger puts you in your place" - Hollywood

2005-05-21T18:14:00.002-05:00

Jeannine & Alex - the man of the hour

2005-05-21T18:14:00.000-05:00

2005-05-21T18:11:00.000-05:00

Bongos for Sale

2005-05-17T23:12:00.000-05:00

This is Tom, and this is him telling me one of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time.

Tom decided a day after buying these bongos that he could have very well saved the money, pocket a "finder's fee" and use it for his upcoming trip and then buy the bongos again upon his return.

Because when you think propane...you think bongos

"I've sold my bongos. What's next?"

infiltrating tribeca

2005-05-15T19:58:00.000-05:00

"East or west of broadway???!!" - Billy screaming into the phone to to someone who decided to show up BEFORE midnight.

reade street

justin & dan

me, tom, & dan

imitating dan's serious "tough guy" pose

jeannine & I

billy & tom

relaxing outside

tommy c., dan, & jr

song of the day: "Along for the Ride" - Mates of State

a few valid reasons to remain single in China

2005-05-12T23:11:00.000-05:00

Just bizarre... NEWS STORY OF THE DAY

springfest revisited

2005-05-09T19:10:00.000-05:00

So rumor had it that the old freakshow carnival Springfest was rolling through town. That was the drawback. The clincher was the fact that Ben Folds was playing a free show in the gym.

Here's how the day went...

Started out sober enough

Then a little of this...

Turned into some of this...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater drinking Jack out of his hat before the show...that's the look of a man who tricked Manhattan College security.

Dan was understandably upset when he found out the security detail he rented was from Chippendales.

During the show...

A mass exodus through our old stomping ground...

Dan & Anthony's place...shooting you with my invisible laser beams...

And the night ends where it began, with less hopes, and absolutely no dreams...

song of the day - "The Last High" by The Dandy Warhols

Bin Laden Hired as Cook at Denny's

2005-04-29T11:59:00.000-05:00

Apparently Denny's needs the same sensitivity training as Arby's and Taco Bell. Check out this New Story of the Day.

Blake you crazy SOB

2005-04-26T10:37:00.000-05:00

So it's a little late to be jumping on the Bobby Blake bandwagon, but something occured to me today while sitting at my desk. Robert Blake is a genius. Now I don't condone murder or any type of violent acts, but if the guy is gonna go for it, who better to hire than 2 stuntmen?? I mean come on, these guys will do ANYTHING for a buck. Think about it - if the cops were in pursuit of these stuntmen right after the murder, what WOULDN'T these guys be willing to do? Hop across highrise rooftops? Of course. Drive their Dodge Charger off a loading dock ramp through a ring of fire? Done. Slam their head through a window pane? Child's play. You can ask a stuntman to do anything unreasonable and I guarantee he would be up for the challenge. They're junkies, always searching for a better high.
And another thing - NO ONE BELIEVES A STUNTMAN. How can you? They're crazy. "Hey Jim, how's your head feeling after that spill off a flaming motorcycle at 95 mph?" "Oh fine, just fine. A little rattled." Meanwhile he has 3rd degree burns on 80% of his body. So they can testify that Blake hired them for murder all they want. It's useless.
The only mistake he did make was hiring stuntmen who haven't worked since Turner & Hootch. Kudos Robert, you deserve that fist pump.

who let this guy in?

2005-04-17T21:02:00.000-05:00

So last night we had invited a guest to pre-game before we went out. This is what the post-game for this special guest looked like...

But not before...hijacking this bike that had been ditched earlier near my apartment. Yes, for those of you wondering that is a classic 1997 Hotrock Specialized.

Somehow this "guest of honor" then managed to knock out the cable in our ENTIRE apartment leaving me with this message to wake up to in the morning. Thanks buddy.

song of the day - "Golden" by My Morning Jacket

What????

2005-04-13T13:06:00.000-05:00

So I took this quiz that a friend of mine had on his blog Where the Bodies are Buried and it just pissed me off. Cleveland? Blue collar? What the F*&K?? Take it for yourself and wonder how any of the answers you choose even remotely designate you one of the shittiest cities in the country.

"Which American City Are You?"

Cleveland
You are blue collar and Rock n Roll. You work hard and party harder.

The Bronx Zoo '04

2005-04-12T12:03:00.000-05:00

With the weather being so beautiful it's time to head off to one of the best things the Bronx has to offer, the zoo. However, before I had a digital camera I used one of those old fashioned disposables...remember those? Anyway, I couldn't scan the pictures in so I figured I would take the time and effort to draw last year's experiences for you guys. Enjoy.

Prairie Dogs are extremely underestimated. Just ask that misplaced sea lion.

This was a bizzare scene...

These punks thought they were being funny, asking the giraffe to see his cameltoe. (What happened afterwards was too graphic to recreate)

thanks for the memories

2005-04-11T14:07:00.000-05:00

A glimpse into my daily commute...

Posted by: rtf0429.

the hudson valley

2005-04-09T18:19:00.000-05:00

A road trip on this beautiful Saturday was in order...

Posted by: rtf0429.

Brett tried to convince Tom & I to cross for over 5 minutes

Posted by: rtf0429.

It was an innoccent and healthy Saturday afternoon void of any type of NYC corruption. Until we came across the soft-core porn shoot.

song of the day: "Romulus" by Sufjan Stevens

More pictures soon...

Tom's Birthday at An Beal Bocht

2005-03-31T20:45:00.000-05:00

an beal bocht
Originally uploaded by rtf0429.

Brett, Easterbrook, and Tom

Tom & Brett in an empty An Beal

Jeannine & Tom

outside an beal
Originally uploaded by rtf0429.

Outside An Beal Bocht...everyone smoking.

Saffron trouble

2005-03-20T15:37:00.000-05:00

gates
Originally uploaded by rtf0429.

Today marks a milestone in the history of color. For the past few weeks Crayola has come under heavy pressure to change their basic "construction cone" orange hue to "saffron". Apparently the eccentric Christo and his colorblind wife, Jean Claude, needed to make their $23 million color reference mistake disappear, hence offering Crayola an undisclosed amount to change the color's name.

This is a picture of Jeannine and Tom the 1st weekend it opened. Notice the suspicious look Jeannine is giving me.

subway stories

2005-03-18T12:01:00.001-05:00

Occasionally I'm going to post interesting and often strange situations I find myself in on the 1/9 subway line. They happen far too often and it would be a shame to keep them to myself. Yesterday, as expected because it was officially Amateur Drinkfest 2005, I had the privilege of standing next to a middle aged man from South Jersey. How did I know he was from "south" Jersey you may ask? You obviously have never been...the real Mason Dixon line is just north of New Brunswick. Anyway this guy was inebriated and didn't really know how the subway worked to begin with. This seemed like the adventure of a lifetime to him. The only thing spoiling it however, was the wad of gum stuck to his shoe. Well he started to become more and more frustrated in his crusade to unstick his foot from the subway floor, first grabbing the pole while bumping into me every 4 seconds and apologizing every single time all the while telling his wife how "unbelievable" it was that THIS was happening to him. Then...and this is the part I thought was uncalled for...he used my shoulder to steady himself while he started to pick the gum off....for...2...long...minutes. My iPod, with the mind of its own began to play Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" and that's when I really began to resent the little old lady I gave my seat up to 3 stops earlier.

song of the day: "You Make Me Feel Uncomfortable" - Dios

parade watching at a distance

2005-03-17T11:25:00.000-05:00

I have to admit the excitement of starting a blog died down a few days after my first post but I have vowed to have another go at it. Today is St. Patrick's Day and I am down on 5th Ave. Unfortunately I am in a office building on 5th with no view of the parade, but the occasional cigarette break gives me glimpses of the it.
I've been reading this book "Return to the City of White Donkeys" by the poet James Tate and thought I'd share a pretty interesting poem with everyone.

The Fragrant Cloud

I woke in a spacious room with lavender

wallpaper and brocaded, antique drapes. There

were clothes laid out for me on a fainting

couch. They fit as if they had been tailored

for me. As I descended the staircase, I had

no idea what to expect. A maid showed me to

the breakfast room and brought me coffee and

biscuits. I stared out the window at the gardens.

After a while, a man entered the room and asked

me if I had everything I needed. "Oh yes," I

said, "everything is lovely." "Do you have

any questions?" he asked me. "No," I said.

"Later, Gwen and I will show you around the

grounds," he said. "I look forward to that,"

I said. Then he left me there alone. Gwendolyn.

It's strange how one knows nothing, and, yet,

knows more than one wants to know. I knew that

I would fall in love with Gwendolyn. I knew

that there would be a duel. I knew that this

graceful mansion would burn to the ground. I

sat there waiting, incredibly lonesome with my

awful knowledge.

song of the day: "Summer Ends" - American Football

Uncle Sam DOES NOT want you

2005-02-24T19:12:00.000-05:00

Tom: pajamas
Originally uploaded by rtf0429.

After a few pints of Guinness Tom decides it's about time to suit up and enlist at our local Marine recruiting station. It's not the uniform that's the punchline...more the fact that he looks like he just pissed in his bed because he was so excited he had "footies" on.